Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
