the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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