'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize