Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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