If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize