It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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