My nipple is on Facebook.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize