i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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