can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
