Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
