so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
