he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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