I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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