It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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