Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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