Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
