man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize