Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
