You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
