ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I faked an abortion last night.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize