whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
