yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
