I love black thongs
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
