i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
