I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
