Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
