You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
