Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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