That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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