I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
