You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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