It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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