I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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