They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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