I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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