He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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