Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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