he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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