I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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