The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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