Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
