I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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