I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
high people should be assigned attendants
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
