i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
