sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
