i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
