i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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