My sheets look like a crime scene.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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