im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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