Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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