I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
