Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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