You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize