I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
