bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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