Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
