As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
