that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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