so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sarcasm needs its own font
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
