how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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