ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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