i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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