He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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